Public apology

Okay, so.... I had a moment.

It's NaNo--moments happen.

A friend of mine, who I will be honest I had no idea was such a good friend, posted a comment on my post from last evening. I hope I'm not embarrassing or drawing unwanted attention to her. But I feel I need to say a special thank you. She is someone who understands and put herself out there when she saw me feeling let down and frustrated.

As for everyone else reading... I realize some of you may be more supportive than I'm aware of. Maybe we just don't talk enough, one-on-one, and it's hard for you to reach out to me. I get that. Since coming to Lawrence, I've had a hard time making friends. I used to be so good at it in college. And now for some reason I'm afraid to put myself out there. But that doesn't mean I should make it your responsibilities to be there for me when you hardly know me.

I'm planning on changing that. There are many of you I know care a great deal for me and are just waiting for a chance to sit down, grab a beer (or a bottle of wine) and get to know me better. I'm also hoping that even after my frustrations being posted so blatantly, you're still willing to give me that chance.

If I called you out last night, if I offended you or made you feel like I just don't get it... if I gave you any reason to wonder, "why the hell am I friends with her" then I apologize.

I needed to let off steam, and my venues for that seem to be a bit constipated as of late. I have one friend who is still incredibly close to me, and she lives 2-3 hours away. So when I need someone to turn to, I guess it feels like maybe the wide world of the Internet is all I have.

I'm not harboring any hatred for anybody. I'm not saying that I will continue to write my blog. I will, however, continue to write. If you don't hear from me between now and December 1st, it doesn't mean I terminated all that was dear to me. Sometime at the end of November, you can expect a post that says whether I made it or not.

But at the moment, I need to take a break. I obviously don't have my head in the right place, and I don't want to ruin my chances at having relationships with any of you.